Cheryl 2.0

Lots of Girls Aloud fun this week. Nadine’s team had their first proper meeting planning ahead on Tuesday and then various journalists like NOTW Dan have been played some tracks from the album. The Tesco situation is yet to be revealed to the public, but I’m intrigued to know if it means the songs will be thus excluded from iTunes. Anyway, as good as the music might be (which I think peeps will get to hear next week), will she be able to conquer the media & general public? To me, she’s totally unlikeable. If you’ve not seen it before then you must watch this absolutely priceless clip of Nadine’s first TV appearance on the original Irish Popstars. It’s jaw-dropping, peep through your fingers car crash tv.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJCiztHvXnI[/youtube]Possibly my favourite video on the internet…

And perfectly timed, there’s a new Cheryl single. I have no doubt that this will have vanished by the time anyone gets into work, but in the meantime check out Promise This (or Promises? Her accent makes it pretty hard to tell). French children’s song ‘Alouette’ is obviously the hot thing in songwriting world at the moment with MDMR banging on about it in Mark Ronson’s magnificent ‘Bang Bang Bang’ and now this clip begining with Cheryl singing it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqROBk2VJpg[/youtube]

‘Video clip no longer avaliable’

Cheryl Cole ‘3 Words’ kind of review

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Earlier this week I made a complete meal of writing a proper Cheryl Cole ‘3 Words’ review, but here are the random notes I made during my first few listens. This is not exactly award winning writing, it’s just random thoughts I made while trying to figure out if it was amazing or rubbish. It was hard to disassociate my love for Cheryl’s shiny hair in her new L’Oreal adverts from the music and just before writing it she annoyed me a bit by kicking Ethan and Duane out of X Factor. I’m so easily swayed. It’s very girly, all about being in love and is pretty sad. There’s no Xenomania, there’s lots of Will.I.Am and it’s far, far away from a Girls Aloud album.

1. Three Words: Strange guitar opening, sounds a bit like Foals, before the bass builds up . Bizzaro. Will.i.Am/Cheryl co-write and Will.i.Am is all over it – it’s a duet! The three words are indeed ‘I Love You’. Very brave opening track. “It wasn’t complicated, wasn’t pre-meditated, to you I’m dedicated.” Anthem for Chuck & Blair.
2. Parachute: Awesome military drumming. Cheryl sounds sad. About a secret love ‘I won’t tell anyone your voice is my favourite sound’. Her love is the parachute that will catch her if she falls. Nice, strong 90s rnb chorus. Brilliant little pointing finger breakdown “I won’t fall out of love.”
3.Heaven: Another wibbly electro Will.I.Am song and he’s on it again. Most annoying bit is Cheryl totally aping his accent and singing ‘My heaven’s with you’ as ‘My heaven wit you’. No need. Best bit – Will I Am sounds like he’s telling Cheryl she’s immature at one point.
4. Fight For This Love: Best song on the album. The drums on this are amazing now. SOLDIER.
5. Rain On Me: Madonna-ish, teeters along before you have some very odd synthesised oboe (?!) sounds and it blows off into a big midtempo dance chorus. Tears in my eyes while raving kind of affair. Not a will i am track so no idea who is singing along in the chorus. Co-written by Livvi Franc!
6. Make Me Cry: Nice 70s Chic type of bassline. “Are you trying to make me cry?” Fierce, talk to the hand. Cheryl says shit! Doesn’t really go anywhere but pleasant.
7. Happy Hour: Ridiculous, yet adoreable analogies. Bad boy she needs a taste of, he’s an addiction. Co-written by Priscilla Renae, originally a Rihanna demo. Nice layering up of vocals without any Nadine style warbelling. Type of song I think Cheryl would sing along to in the shower. Middle Eastern vibes – K-Ci & Jojo esque piano topline. “Some days I can be sweet and some I’m sour, but I can’t help but drink you up cos you’re my happy hour.” 2nd best song.
8. Stand Up: The only upbeat song, only one that doesn’t sound like Cheryl is the saddest person ever. Taio Cruz penned and he features on it during a rap where he bigs up his advance and his bloody Rokstar shades. Makes me want to crouch to my knees and then fascinatingly ‘Stand Up’ in some kind of never before considered dance routine.
9. Don’t Talk About This Love: Cover of a Nikola Bedingfield song. CUT YOUR EARS OFF AWFUL.
10.Boy Like You: Opens with a sample of Fleetwood Mac ‘Little Lies’. Random. Another Will.i.Am track. Clapping / electro drumbeat. It’s a shoulder wiggler.
11.Heartbreaker: Identical to the single release, no Cheryl mix or anything. Is that FIVE Will.I.Am duets??\
12. Got To Be Real: Amaz-Oh no, this is Cheryl Lynn. Thanks iTunes!

Cheryl’s Hair: 10/10 ; Album 7/10

Mr Discopop’s heard it too.

Sing it girl!

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Making plans on a Saturday night for the last six months have been hell. While in previous years it didn’t really matter if you missed an episode or so of X Factor, this time round there was no way we were missing a single moment of Cheryl Cole time.

Two superstars were born this series. Alexandra and Cheryl. From the very first episode, Cheryl dazzled and proved that she really did have “the most beautiful eyes” Pete Waterman spotted all those years ago.  Honestly – is there anything more beautiful than Cheryl’s tear stained face? Despite the horrifying news that Eoghan won 6 shows (seriously!), it was always about the girls. From amazing Laura’s sudden defeat, Rachel’s transformation from brilliant auditionee to live train wreck, Diana’s claw, and Ruth’s rocking out to Alexandra’s win, the boys never stood a chance.

I’m so delighted Alexandra won and wow, what a show.  The duet with Beyonce was jaw-dropping, not only for managing to get her to perform, but watching Alex near collapse on her idol and the diva tastic hair flicking song itself. ‘Listen’ is my favourite Beyonce song and it’s impossible to watch this duet without feeling gleeful at Alexandra’s excitement and astonishment.

[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bV-ERgAHqXo[/youtube]

As well as a great result, the last two weeks of X Factor have also provided some comedy gold. Who could forget Eoghan’s song crashing as Diana left and as for this week? Well Alexandra snatching the winner’s CD off Dermot was funny enough for me, but also why was Mark from Westlife singing with severe and anger and don’t forget the very odd ‘Merry Christmas’ from one of JLS. Plus Cheryl herself made a bit of a boo boo in the press conference (flick to 1.28).

‘Hallejulah’ is breaking all sorts of chart records as we speak. I know it’s a bit of a gut wrenchingly music purist tune to cover, but despite the swelling key change I love it. It’s the first winners song I’ve ever bought.