The Worst Album of All Time

eoghan

In a list of things the world needs, an Eoghan Quigg album full of covers is not one of them. Despite making it all the way to the final of X Factor thanks to the little girl and grannies brigade, a win for Eoghan would have been another nail in the pop coffin of doom that already contains the dusty remains of David Sneddon, Steve Brookstein and Leon Jackson. If Leon, an X Factor winner, has just been dropped from his record label, along with runners up Same Difference, are we really supposed to believe Eoghan’s debut offer us any more than a quick buck making exercise for a record label? Look him up 10 months down the line and we’re pretty sure you’ll find him back working hard at school with a Saturday job at Argos. A fine way to mess with a 16 year old’s head.

Of course, we were never going to expect a masterpiece from Eoghan and you probably think we’d slag it off whatever he released. The thing is though, as Popjustice quite rightly states, even the most obsessive, deluded fan, will have some difficulty sticking up for this album. It sounds so cheap, so unlovingly put together that we are aghast that someone managed to A&R and release this without actually wanting to kill themselves

The main problem with Eoghan on the show (save the inexplicable hair, the face, the Diana love, the obsession from Louis etc) was the way his vocals were accompanied by so many backing singers that his voice frequently got lost, and this problem is repeated on the album most notably on High School Musical’s ‘We’re All In This Together’. Taking the songs Eoghan covered on TV as a starting point you can expect to hear his strange choice of Abba’s ‘Does Your Mother Know’, Michael Jackson’s ‘Ben’ (surely the 2nd worst Jacko song after Ebony & Ivory?) and a wilting, joyless version of Take That masterpiece ‘Never Forget’. Add to the mix a little known Jonas Brothers song which Eoghan has made sound so much like Westlife, Louis’ ears will be perking up with a marathon speed, and the addition of a smattering of Robbie, McFly and Buble and you’ll have a fair idea of the sound. It was speculated that Eoghan really found his place on the show when covering his ‘favourite band’ Busted with ‘Year 3000’. Indeed this is really the only track on the album where Eoghan sounds like he’s vaguely interested and giving it a smidge, and we really do mean a smidge of personality, so he must have been delighted for Busted craftsman James Bourne to offer up original song ‘28,000 Friends’ for the album. Fittingly though, an ode to online friends, it’s a cast off that wouldn’t even have made a Son of Dork B-side.

It’s safe to say 2009 is not Eoghan’s year. There was a time when the runners up album would be as exciting as the winner’s. While some might think Rhydian’s album did exactly that last year (I’ve not heard it so I have no idea), let’s all take a moment to remember the very first runner up – Gareth Gates – and probably one of the best sugary pop songs of the decade.

Some of this was originally written for Orange Music

One thought on “The Worst Album of All Time

  1. eoghan quiggs new album is the best album goin
    its great fun and so great
    i lv it to bits
    and all u eoghan quigg haters
    leave him aloan he is the best singer out and he worked really hard on the album!!!!):

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