I was lucky enough to be given a preview listening of the new Fall Out Boy album a couple of weeks ago and my review will be appearing in a magazine next month. To give you a bit of insight, normally you get sent albums to review either in hard copy or an internet stream. They’re normally watermarked so if you leak it onto the internet the label can figure out who to murder.

There are certain levels of albums that they won’t let anyone have. If you want to hear it, you go to them, and for some reason the FOB album fell into that category which seems a bit extreme. So along I went to Universal Records where I very excitedly bumped into Nicola from Girls Aloud who’s super red hair at the moment is amazing and slightly less excitedly listened to the FOB album, in a small room, alone, once, with my mobile taken off me. It’s pretty hard to review an album in these conditions and get it spot on so if it turns out to be bloody shit, I apologise. It does mean that you’re constantly scribbling things down though, and you end up with some random statements. The last time I did this I went on a bit so look after the jump for the track by track review that hasn’t been made pretty so don’t start on me for not writing well. In short, 4/5, 13 tracks, very long, angry but poppy, noisy but tender, pretty great, 27 is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Annoyingly the record has just been pushed back to December 16 which kind of leaves my actual review making no sense. Bugger. Real review will appear in a couple of weeks anyway.

N.B. I was told to wait a week before writing about it, and I’ve waited 11 days so if it suddenly disappears…

Prepare for epicness:

1. Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes – Church choral opening then into a massive rocky sound.

2. I Don’t Care – Amazing. Girls Aloud could sing this. It’s got big, fat, glammy beats and sounds like it could have been produced by Xenomania.

3. She’s My Winona – Catchy. Has lots of ‘ba ba bas’ and ‘oh oh ohs’. Lyrics are about thunder and little baby boys. Properly good key change.

4. Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet – Still win the prize for best song titles. Is someone else singing here? It’s got a touch of the creepy side of 5ive (Baby When The Lights Go Out) and McFly (Transylvania). Really epic sounding. Big and rocky before breaking down into a soft, tender bit. “I will never end up like him.” “Oh darling I know what you’re going through.”

5. What A Catch, Donnie – Piano start that is a bit Ben Foldsy. It’s your full blown American high school geeky boy goes through trauma becomes hot soundtrack. “I got troubled thoughs and the self esteem to match. What a catch.” “They said a captain goes down with the ship.” Features Elvis Costello, Brendon Urie, Travis McCoy, Alex deLeon and William Beckett.

6. America’s Suitehearts: Pounding drums, really build up. “Let’s hear it for America’s suitehearts”.

7. Tiffany Blews: Guest vox from Lil Wayne. Opens with electric bass & lots of ‘oh oh ohs’. Really cool clapping bit. It’s like a song for a comedy horror film.

8. (Coffee For Closers) – Main message is “change will come”. “We preach (electric?) to our microphone stands. Fly your cameras/candles in the air and wave them cos you just don’t care.” “I will never believe in anything again.” Anthemic USA anthem. Soundtracks a cause. False flourishy end that then turns into an instrumental like Nine in the Afternoon.

9. 27 – Really good. “If home is where the heart is, then we’re all just fucked.” “My mind is a safe and if I keep it all in we’ll be rich. My body is an orphanage, we take everyone in. Doing lines of dust and sweat on last night’s stage just to feel like you do.” Properly ace electric guitar & drums wig out. Screw really good, this is amazing!

10. w.a.m.s. – Featuring Pharrell & produced by the Neptunes. Fun chanty – “Hurry, hurry, what the hell is such a flurry. What the hell makes us so special. I’m going to leave you, I’m going to teach you.” Really shit fade and then goes into a weird old school black american acapella thing.

11. The (Shipped) Gold Standard – “I wanna scream I love you from the top of the world but I’m afraid someone might hear me” <--- LOVE IT. " You can only blame your problems on the world for so long. As soon as we leave this hospital, we're going to leave this town."

12. 20 Dollar Nose Bleed – Features Brendon Urie of P@. Has a sprightly comedy rock beat with lots of brass. Is it a song about madness? Talking about benzine, mad dreams.

13. West Coast Smoker (guest vocals by Debbie Harry) – I couldn’t hear any Debbie. Just sounded really noisy and shouty with Slipknot esque distorted vocals. Had I lost the plot by this point? Really full on.

End. Phew. Bitch away.