Eurovision Day 2 – An Update

We’ve just left the first dress rehearsal for the final and have now seen all the songs in the order with their stage performances. Here is what is happening

  • My favourite Belarus is on 3rd. This means he is buggered. He’s between two other uptempo songs and makes no impact, despite a shirt split of Uncle Sp levels.
  • My 2nd fav Greece is also buggered. He is in the middle of the show so is forgettable, and it seems in real life instead of being the hip-shaking lover he sounds like, he looks like a geek.
  • France is gay, gay, GAY. Think pink, think fairy wings. Oh yes.
  • Ireland has the worst song and frontwoman in the show
  • It could actually be two years in Finland after Hanne’s great song.
  • Bosnia has come dressed as a Xmas tree.
  • Bulgaria has an amazing drum bit. It could only be better if it were done by men in hotpants
  • Sweden get naked.
  • Russia could win. The song is a little outdated but is made better by a bit where they fall through the internet
  • Serbia might win but the girlfest didn’t have the same impact it did on semi-final night. Instead Slovenia are going to be the former Yugoslav top song.
  • About 14 people clapped after Scooch. They need to can the talky bits.
  • Ukraine is ridiculous, and it is on Scooch so there are two shit songs in a row. ESC have realised this and put a little break in the middle. Ukraine is really shit, but in an amazing way. It is sung by Timmy Mallett.
  • Turkey is much later in the contest than Greece so I no longer think they’ll get confused. It’s sung by a man who has had 24 number 1 hits, is 3 songs from the end and … is going to win.
  • Bottom Line: Turkey, Slovenia or Bulgaria are going to win. Poor Koldun.

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